The Truth About Meeting People In Real Life Instead Of On Dating Apps (2024)

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Love

By Andi Forness

mbg Contributor

Andi Forness is an online dating coach and active member of the Jungian Coaching Association and the Society of Women Entrepreneurs.

September 06, 2022

If you haven't gotten the chance to see a bathroom selfie in a messy bathroom or carry on an engaging "morning" or "whatcha doin'" convo with a complete stranger for a week and they disappear, you may not understand why so many people hate dating apps.

Another big complaint is that the person on the app never looks as good as in their photos in real life, which sets up an initial meeting date that is supposed to be fun to have disappointment and frustration instead.

To be on a dating app, you have to learn a new world where there are tons of risks involved, where you can get ghosted, zombied, benched, catfished, and so on.

Meeting a potential love interest in real life can definitely be better than meeting people online in some aspects because you can get an accurate picture of what they look like, how they carry themselves, and what their energy is like.

Another bonus is you can be a more normal version of yourself if you meet someone in real life while engaging in activity versus just meeting a complete stranger for coffee.

Having the focus not be on meeting a potential love interest helps some people be more at ease and more themselves.

Here are some ideas to meet people in real life:

  • Meetups (or specifically meetups for singles)
  • Network events for your industry
  • Alumni events from your college or high school
  • Sports clubs (like running, biking, soccer, triathlons, etc.)
  • Gyms and yoga studios
  • Friends setting you up
  • Friends of friends at group gatherings
  • Fun education classes and hobbies (think a weekly painting class or some such)
  • Your religious communities (events at or hosted by churches, temples, mosques, etc.)
  • Volunteer groups
  • Dog parks
  • Camping groups and outdoor classes
  • Book groups at your local bookstore or library
  • Coffeehouses

But before you go flitting off to that coffee shop, we need to talk about something:

Though I understand the common complaints about dating apps, plenty of people have gotten around them and found true love (and quickly) on a dating app, so there must be something else going on behind the scenes, for those of you who hate them.

Some people might simply be scared. Fear of putting yourself out there for your whole city to see you are single and looking is sometimes very hard for some people, especially if they have been single a long time or have a history of short-term relationships.

People are embarrassed to go back online and have people judge them for not being in a relationship or not having the last one work out. Fear of failure may come into play here unconsciously behind the scenes too.

But these fears are unfounded—because the people on dating apps are single and looking too, and there's no shame in that. You're someone who knows what you want and are investing time into seeking it out. Good on you!

Fear of rejection may also play a part in why some people avoid dating apps. Just like if people don't get enough likes on their Instagram post, online daters take it really personally if the person they wrote to or swiped on did not message them back. It is OK! There are a million possible reasons that person didn't write back, and 99.9% of the time, that has nothing to do with your attractiveness and value as a person.

RELATED: 8 Best Dating Sites For Singles Over 50, According To Experts

But even if you're going to go the IRL route, here's the truth: You will have to put in the effort no matter where you're trying to meet people. I have only heard one story of a friend of a friend who fell in love and married the cable guy that showed up to her door.

Most people choose online dating because it's easier and less time-consuming than going all over town to a bunch of groups hoping perchance there is one interesting person there who happens to be single, attractive to you, and attracted to you.

And just like when you meet someone through an app, you'll have to have focus and intention, be communicative, have boundaries, and be open and willing to risk rejection, to name a few, when trying to make romantic connections in real life.

RELATED:

If it turns out that you hate dating offline as well as online, that might be a sign that it's time to sit back and do a little journaling about your fears and hang-ups around dating.

You may need to address those deeper blocks before you can finally find a great person to share your life with.

RELATED: The Best Dating Apps In 2022, Based On What You Want

RELATED: 11 Online Dating Rules For Actually Finding A Relationship, From Experts

The Truth About Meeting People In Real Life Instead Of On Dating Apps (2024)

FAQs

The Truth About Meeting People In Real Life Instead Of On Dating Apps? ›

That level of intimacy you get from meeting someone in real life is completely different to that rush of dopamine you get from swiping right and getting a match on an app. And yes, I do think it sets a precedent for the relationship that follows.

Is it better to meet people in person or dating apps? ›

If you meet someone in person for the first time, then naturally you will begin with an in-person conversation, and will progress to a text conversation afterwards. Here, you get a true feel for the person from the outset. However, online dating reverses this process.

Is meeting in real life better than online? ›

In-person meetings excel over virtual ones when deepening relationships, handling complex discussions, and fostering team building and brainstorming sessions. They provide the crucial human touch, non-verbal cues, and immediate interaction needed for these aspects of effective communication and collaboration.

Is real life better than dating apps? ›

Dating apps or sites are not necessarily better equipped at introducing you to higher-quality candidates than meeting someone in public or through your social circles, says Reis. But they do give you a lot more options. Where else would you be able to meet two or three dozen people a week?

Why is meeting people in person better than online? ›

You're able to read body language, see facial expressions, use context clues, and better get to know someone's personality. Online exchanges can only give you so much. Whether it's email or a conference call, there are undeniably things you miss out on. Meeting face to face gives you the whole picture.

What age group uses online dating the most? ›

Online dating service users in the United States as of September 2023, by age group
CharacteristicShare of respondents
18-2926%
30-4961%
50-6413%

Why is it so hard to find someone to date? ›

1 Some reasons include more physical and emotional risk, advances in technology, it being harder to meet people, and shifting societal expectations. Dating opens even the most well-adjusted to uncertainty and vulnerability.

What are the dangers of meeting online strangers in real life? ›

The dangers of meeting someone over the internet can include sexual predators, thieves, blackmailers and the fear of not knowing who is actually behind the phone. Anyone can act like someone they are not when they are behind any electronic device, and it is very easy to make good conversations flow over text.

Why is face-to-face dating better than online dating? ›

You can observe the person in their environment, interact with them in real time, and get a sense of their personality and demeanour. With online interactions, you may only see a snapshot of a person's life or personality, and it can be harder to get a complete picture of who they are.

What are the cons of face-to-face meetings? ›

Meetings can be disrupted by unexpected events, such as traffic, flight delays, or bad weather. Face-to-face meetings may not be practical for teams working in different locations or time zones. Meetings may be affected by personal biases, prejudices, or assumptions.

What is the most genuine dating site? ›

The best dating sites, at a glance
  • Best Dating Site Overall: Match.
  • Best Free Dating App: Bumble.
  • Best Dating App for Casual Dating and Hookups: Tinder.
  • Best Dating App for a Serious Relationship: Hinge.
  • Best Dating App for Marriage: eHarmony.
  • Best Exclusive Dating App: Inner Circle.
  • Best LGBTQ+ Dating App: Lex.
Feb 7, 2024

Why is dating in real life better? ›

Another bonus is you can be a more normal version of yourself if you meet someone in real life while engaging in activity versus just meeting a complete stranger for coffee. Having the focus not be on meeting a potential love interest helps some people be more at ease and more themselves.

How to meet someone without using dating apps? ›

Tips for Meeting Someone Organically
  1. Go to places and events related to your hobbies and interests.
  2. Ask your friends to set you up with people they know.
  3. Go to coffee shops and bars alone.
  4. Take classes, join clubs, and volunteer in your community.
  5. Attend meet-ups, singles nights, and speed-dating events.

Is it better to meet someone online or in real life? ›

People who have ever used a dating site or app also have a more positive assessment of relationships forged online. Some 62% of online daters believe relationships where people first met through a dating site or app are just as successful as those that began in person, compared with 52% of those who never online dated.

Is meeting face to face better than online? ›

Choosing face to face meetings vs virtual alternatives

Virtual meetings offer the convenience of being able to participate from anywhere, while face-to-face meetings provide the opportunity for more personal connections and non-verbal communication.

Is socializing in person better than online? ›

Many studies show that we feel better when we're socializing than when we're alone. But some have argued that digital interactions, with their lack of social cues, such as facial expressions and vocal information, are less satisfying than their offline counterparts.

Is face to face dating better than online? ›

Immediate Chemistry: In-person interactions allow you to feel immediate chemistry or a connection, which can be harder to gauge through a screen. Body Language: Non-verbal cues, such as body language and eye contact, play a significant role in attraction and can lead to deeper connections.

Should I date online or in person? ›

Online dating appears to be a practical way to date for most people. According to the study, roughly 60 percent of participants have had positive experiences with dating platforms. Many people have success finding romantic partners online, whether they're looking for something casual or long term.

Is matchmaking better than dating apps? ›

With online dating, you're essentially on your own to determine which people would be a good fit for you. Many find this difficult and overwhelming. When you enlist the help of a skilled matchmaker, you benefit from his or her expertise and well-honed intuition in your search for the right person.

Are dating apps the only way to meet people? ›

Dating apps may be common, but that doesn't mean you can't still meet people organically. The hardest part can be knowing where to look. So whether you're done with dating apps for good or if you just want to give yourself more options, here are some tips for meeting people “in the wild.”

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